February 21, 2002 |
On their way home after celebrating their
25th anniversary,
she thanks him for a wonderful evening.
"Oh. it's not over yet", says the husband.
Once in the house, he gives her a little black velvet box.
She opens it in anticipation, "But what are these two little
pills?"
"Aspirin", says he.
"But I don't have a headache," she says.
"There you are, I told you the evening wasn't over yet!"
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February 5, 2002 |
A married man goes to confessional and
tells the priest, "I
had an affair with a woman... almost."
The priest says, "What do you mean, almost?"
The man says, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together,
but then I stopped."
The priest replies, "Rubbing together is the same as putting
it in. You're not to go near that woman again. Now say five
Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box."
The man leaves confessional, says his prayers, then walks
over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and starts to
leave.
The priest, who was watching him, quickly runs over and
says, "I saw that! You didn't put any money in the poor
box!"
The man replied, "Well, Father, I rubbed up against it, and
you said it was the same as putting it in!"
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